Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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