Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
