yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
