he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
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