So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
