the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Alive.
So much puke
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
