Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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