After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My bed smells like the plague
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