Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize