Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
