Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
