your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
