So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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