also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
