Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
