R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we're making bets on your personal life
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
