i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
