Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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