whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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