Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
