I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize