OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
he high fived his dick after we had sex
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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