I want to stick my p in your. b.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
