She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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