Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
