nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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