her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
