I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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