Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize