i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms