You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
