I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Woke up backwards on a recliner
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
