I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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