Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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