Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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