I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
