It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
