You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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