I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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