We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
