just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
