The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
