Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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