we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We need a shit load of segways right now
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I believe in your delicious
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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