A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
