Tell her she can't have a vagina
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
