I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
my poor anus
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
