Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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