Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
