Don't you send me to vm
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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