glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
