My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Sorry about my life...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
