The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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