i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
