We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
