I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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