Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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