At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We need to rekindle our bromance
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
