I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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