wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize