I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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