the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
