theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
